How do you help someone when you do not believe they have the will or sincere desire to accept or embrace the help?
Like Jerry Maguire, I have an associate similar to his client, Rod Tidwell. Although not as eccentric as Rod Tidwell he is just as stubborn and intractable. Rod Tidwell was generally a positive, self confident and decent man. My guy….well….the “dime store psychologist” in me believes he is: angry, bitter, insecure but fundamentally a decent man. My task as his “direct report” is to give him the benefit of my experience in the form of positive support and guidance. I consider my self a good leader, coach and teacher but my instincts are screaming at me that he is a lost cause. I have two struggles here: with him and with myself. Meanwhile, I am working to not reveal my inner scream to him while simultaneously trying to help him. As co-workers and associates we have had a great relationship and he assures me that my new status/role will not change his view of me. It is a fragile situation.
My history with such people in my work life has been one ,where at best, they are exhausted by the persistence of my positivity and they choose to go. However, I must say that of all these situations, that have ended this way, it has been much later and in a most unexpected way, years after we have parted ways that our paths cross again to reveal that I did make a difference and a lasting impression? I planted a seed that took time and eventually germinated?! These have been some of the most rewarding moments of my life. When they see you and take a moment to tell you:
“I may not have had the wisdom or maturity to understand what you were trying to do and or say to me, but I get it now. Thank you, you are one of the most decent people I have ever worked with. The lessons I learned with you on how to treat people…carry myself and approach a balance in life make a difference every day and I am passing it on.”
Do rewards in life get much better than that? I care…I always have….and I always will. Although, we sometimes have to do what we do not want to do…if it is guided by a sincerity of intent…it will pass the mirror test. What is the mirror test? If every day and any time you can look in to a mirror and like, trust and respect the person looking back at you then you have just been validated by your higher power….your conscience. Congratulations…..you are a decent human being!
I hope he accepts what I am offering? If he does not or it does not work out then at least I have planted another seed.
I do not plant every seed with the expectation of personally seeing it germinate and grow…..I just keep the faith and belief that it will…..and that is enough to sustain me.
Make today a great day and always work to make tomorrow better!
Peace Out!
DD